I'm not cool anymore

I found out I'm not cool anymore when I dropped the kids off at school Friday morning.

While the kids were getting out of the car I said, "BUH BAM!  It's Friday.  HOLLER!"  I also added in a high pitched, "CAN I GET A WHAT WHAAAAT?" and did a two handed raise the roof gesture for good measure.

Now, I don't know if I just did it out of order or if maybe I left out an extra "whaaaat," but my ten year old son and my seven year old daughter {who were furiously glancing back and forth to make sure no one was watching} looked back at me as they were slamming the van door shut and whispered.....

"Not cool mom.  Not.  Cool.  You are so.....{wait for it}......yesterday.....and embarrassing."

Watching them walk off I saw a brief bonding moment between siblings as they looked at each other with pity in their eyes.  Shaking their heads as if mentally conveying to each other how sad it must be to be so old and not know any better.

I see this look a lot from him

I was stunned.

My children didn't want to be seen with me.  When did this happen???  When did I become the object of rolling eyeballs and disown-ment?  They used to laugh and think how fun and hip I was when I would do all that urban slangy stuff.  True, I never knew the meaning of a single word I was saying, but that didn't matter to them.  I was the crazy cool mom who they loved hanging with.  I was their.....home slice. See? Total coolness.

back when they still loved me

Then, with a heavy heart, I realized.  They're growing up.  I'm not my daughter's BFF anymore.  Even though when she was five she pinky swore she always would be.  I'm not my son's best buddy or his partner in crime.  They've moved on.  They don't want their mom trying to be cool in front of all their little friends.  I seem to have missed the signs of them slowly letting go because I was too busy desperately trying to hold on to the tiny little hands I felt slipping away.  I knew they still loved me, but things just weren't the same as they used to be.  I was going to have to learn to adjust.

All day I debated on what to do.  Do I back off?  Should I disappear when other kids their age were around??  How could I change so they wouldn't be constantly upset and anxiously waiting for what humiliating thing their mother might do to embarrass them?

On the other hand......

Didn't I deserve to act however the heck I wanted to after nine months of morning sickness and 24 hours of labor and delivery??......After endless sleepless nights pacing back and forth with sick babies? Worrying over every cough, green poopy diaper, whimper, fever, scraped knee, tree licked, yes, that happened, and countless poison control calls that could have easily ended up with DHR at our doorstep???  Wasn't this MY right as a parent??  Didn't I deserve to have some fun at their expense???

That afternoon as I walked out the door to pick them up I knew what had to be done.

I got into the van and calmly drove to the school.

This was it.  The turning point in our relationship.  The moment they knew how the rest of their childhood and teen years would play out in front of friends, teachers, faculty, parents, and even strangers.  It all came down to this one defining moment between mother and child.

You could hear the music thumping in the car before I ever made it to the gate.

Here we go.  Game on.

A sea of young faces turned to see what the commotion was.

As my kids and I made eye contact a slow smile spread across my face, and their confusion quickly turned into an expression of horror.

My eyes narrowed as I rhythmically bobbed my head up and down to the beat of the music.

Their mouths gaped open in an effort to form a slow motion, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" 

I could make out kids mouthing the words, "No. Way."

And that's when it happened.

The mother of all humiliation.....I pulled up in front of them with windows rolled down, van shaking, singing and rapping as loud as I could to the 1980's classic, "Ice Ice Baby".....with an added bonus of every dance move I've ever learned since 1979.  It was all there.....the Travolta moves, the Cabbage Patch, the Carlton, the Macarena.........

"Mama's in the hooouuussse!!" I squealed.

Their faces registered panic, then shock, and finally disbelief.  They were stone.  cold.  frozen.

As the teacher slid open the door I got,  "WHAT ARE YOU DOING???"  growled out through gritted teeth.  "I'm collaborating and listening.  Isn't it awesome??  Got my hands in the aiiiirr like I just don't caaaarrrree....."  

 They looked at me and I saw their little defeated faces.  Grudgingly I got a nod of ..... "Well played, mother. Well played."

Crawling into the van they slithered down as low as they could into the seats.  My little girl looked up at her big brother and said, "Did that really just happen?  Is this a dream??"

Sharing an understanding wink with the other moms I pulled out of the line.

Still grinning as we drove off I said, "Oh no honey, this is your worst nightmare.  Welcome to the next ten years."

And that, moms, is how it's done.

"BOOM!!"

I think I'm in a parade

Saturday my husband called me on his way home from town.  This was our 1 pm convo.

Me:  "Hello?"

Keith:  "I think I'm in a parade."

Me:  "You can't think you're in a parade.  Either you are or you aren't."

Keith:  "I just turned right in Eva and there's two cops riding horses in front of me 
             and a firetruck behind me throwing candy out to the kids on the side of the street."

Silence.

Me:  "You're in a parade."

Keith:  "What do I DO??? (I could totally hear the panic in his voice.)

Me:  "Look around your truck.  Do you see any gum or peppermints?"

Keith:  "I have gum.  What's that got to do with how to get me out of this??"

Me:  "Nothing.  Throw the gum out the window and wave.  See you in a couple of hours."

Click.

Me:  "BAHAAHAAAHAAAA.....Who's gettin' the house to herself? THIS GIRL!

My most requested.....deviled eggs

I've always loved my mama's deviled eggs.  However, after I got married I had to tweak her recipe when I found out Keith didn't like sweet pickles or Bama mayo.  {we always had Bama mayo in the fridge when I was growing up.}  So I switched things up with Kraft mayo and original dills (his preference) and I've been making them that way ever since.

Just like my mama I don't measure ingredients for this recipe.  It's all to taste.  Irritating isn't it?  I get so frustrated sometimes trying to make some of her recipes.  I'm always nagging her to give me measurements!! I did try to come up with something for you to kinda go by though....just to give you an idea.  You should adjust everything to your preference.

The family LOVES them and I never show up at a gathering without them.  It's always requested that I bring them along.  They're always a hit!

Ingredients:

This recipe is for 6 eggs which makes 12 deviled eggs

6 hard boiled eggs

1 tsp mustard

1/4 - 1/2 Vlasic original dill pickle - chopped

1/4 cup Kraft real mayo (I use a little more than that)

salt to taste

pepper to taste

Paprika

Run water till about an inch over your eggs in your pot and bring to a boil.

Let boil 10 - 12 minutes

Drain your water out and cover with cold water.

Gently crack just the end of your eggs.

Let stand till eggs are cool (5 minutes or so)

Crack your egg all the way around.

Hold the egg under cool running water as you peel it. This helps loosen the shell.

Good luck.

Note:  This is the best way I have found that works to peel eggs without destroying them.  It doesn't always work though.  I've tried every method, but with super fresh eggs it's tough to get those shells off!

Scoop your egg yellows into a bowl and add your chopped pickle, mayo, mustard, salt, and pepper.

I always have to adjust my ingredients as I taste test.  You may want it creamier.  I tend to add more mayo.  If so add in more mayo, but go light on the mustard.

~ Salt and pepper to taste ~

Stuff your eggs with as much mixture as you like and sprinkle tops with Paprika.

{for me it HAS to be Kraft mayo and Vlasic original dills or it's not the same.}

Fair Day

The county fair.

That magical place where you and your children bond over duct taped rides, cotton candy, candy apples, ten freakin' dollar games and cheap a$$ prizes.  

I love it.

Every.  Second.

It's never truly Fall to me until my feet cross the entrance to the fair.  

I've been going to the same fair since I was 9 years old, and I love being able to take my kids to the same place.....to make those memories together that hopefully they will cherish when they get older. 

As I've said before, I'm the kind of mom who will let her kids ride as much as they want till they get tired or throw up. 

 Usually throw up. 

 What?  That's not how you do it??  

Anyway, here's a few pictures from our day.....

Now.....it's Fall.

xxxooo

The Best Sausage Balls Ever!

I don't know why I only make these yummy sausage balls during football season and Christmas.  I just don't think about them the rest of the year.  Shame.  They sure are delicious little bites.  

I've tweaked this recipe to include hot sausage and sharp cheese because I like mine with a little bite to it.  I've also added an ingredient that makes them super moist.  No more dried out sausage balls!!

Ingredients:

1 lb hot sausage

8 oz cream cheese (softened)

1 & 1/4 Bisquick

4 oz sharp shredded cheddar cheese

Combine all your ingredients in a bowl and mix until well blended.  

I take my wedding rings off and use my hands.  

Roll them into 1 inch balls and place them on an ungreased cookie sheet.

Bake 20 minutes at 375* until browned.
and for the love of cheese don't overcook them.

While you're waiting for them to come out of the oven go ahead and decorate for Fall!

annnnnnd.....

If you want a little something sweet and easy to whip up for later try my Quick and Easy Lemon Icebox Pie.  Only four ingredients!!

Happy eating!!

Summer Squash Casserole

                                  

As we wistfully wave goodbye to summer and bid a fond farewell to our gardens I thought it would be nice to spotlight one of my favorite summer veggies, squash, to end the season.  I don't know about you, but we get so much squash coming in I'm always trying to figure out a new way to use it. 

We've had baked squash, fried squash, grilled squash, boiled squash, saute'd squash, and stir fried squash. Tell me you totally read that Bubba Gump style??

  My favorite way to eat it though?  Yep.  Squash casserole.  Anything that calls for loads of cheese and crushed crackers.....hey y'all....I'm all over that!

So I'm ready to usher in Fall after one last meal from the garden.....

There's really no way to make this look appetizing. 

What you'll need:

Ingredients:

3 cups cooked squash drained
1 lg onion chopped and cooked with squash
1 lb lean beef browned
1 can water chestnuts
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1/2 cup milk
1 sleeve crushed saltines
2-3 cups shredded cheddar cheese

Go ahead and slice and boil your squash and onion (I like my onion finely chopped) around 30 minutes or until tender.  Drain.

Brown your hamburger meat and drain.

                   

                   

Pam a 1970's casserole dish.....What?  That's not how you do it??.....and mix together squash, onion, hamburger, soup, and water chestnuts.

Cover with crushed crackers and cheese.  Add as little or as much as you like.

Bake at 350* for 30 - 35 minutes.

Dive in!

Orange Drizzle Pound Cake

                                        

I totally wish my blog had a scratch n sniff.  Y'all have no idea how good my house smells right now.  I have an orange drizzle pound cake in the oven and it's heavenly in here!

I'm a chocoholic.  When I have to choose a dessert at a restaurant it's a sure thing whatever they bring out will have, at the very least, three layers of chocolate in it.  Y'all can keep your Apple Strudels and Brown Betty's.  Give.  Me.  The.  Chocolate.

However, there is one cake I make that will trump my chocolate obsession.  That's how good this is. Next time you're in the mood for a pound cake this is your winner right here!

Ingredients

for the cake:

1 box yellow (or orange) cake mix

3/4 cup orange juice

1/2  cup vegetable oil

4 eggs

1 tsp lemon extract

1 pkg instant lemon pudding mix

Lightly grease a 10 inch bundt pan and preheat your oven to 325*

Stir cake mix and pudding mix together.

Add your 3/4 cup orange juice, oil, eggs, and lemon extract

Beat on low speed with mixer until blended.  Now beat 4 minutes on medium speed.

Pour into pan.

Bake 50 minutes.

Let cool for 10 minutes.

for the orange drizzle:

1/3 cup orange juice

2/3 cup white sugar

1/4 cup butter

In a sauce pan heat orange juice, sugar, and butter for two minutes until blended well.

Punch holes throughout your cake and drizzle juice over and into cake.

I hope you enjoy this recipe.  It's one of my favorites!!

The Hub's Country Style Ribs

                            

My hubby decided he wanted his ribs to go with another round of football today.  He's a big NFL fan.  Me?  Meh.  I could care less.  I'm a college football girl, but I'll hang with him just to chow down on these!  He makes some mean ribs y'all. 

I wanted to share this recipe with you guys so I asked him if I could snap some shots while he was working on them.  All I got was some eyeball rolling and mumbling under his breath. 

 I heard yes. 

 He meant no.  

He should really work on vocalizing his feelings more.

I did manage to get in a couple of blurry pictures before he shoved me out of the way though. 

Quick and Easy Lemon Icebox Pie

I wanted to get a quick and easy dessert done today for the games tomorrow.  I can't be in the kitchen cooking during football.  Ain't nobody got time for that!  Bama takes on Texas A&M and my booty plans on keeping the recliner warm for a big chunk of the day.  

This little pie right here is a "go to" of mine for any gathering and it's always a hit.  I picked up this recipe ten years or so ago.  Super fast to make and so yummy!

Lemon Icebox Pie

Fall Favorite Hamburger Soup

I went by the bank to pick up our mega passes for the fair yesterday.  These passes get the kids in free and let them ride as much as they want for the low low price of $22.  Y'all know what it costs to ride those super glued death traps.  I mean, crazy right??  So, for sure, mama's gonna buy those mega deals! Anyway, I'm the kinda mom that'll let her kids ride and eat as much as they want till they get tired or throw up.  Usually throw up.  What?  That's not how you do it??

All that got me thinking about Fall.  I am so excited about Fall y'all!  It is my absolute favorite time of the year with Christmas coming in at a close second.  I say Christmas instead of Winter because on December 26th I'm over all that jazz, and by jazz I mean anything below 65 degrees and not flip flop weather.  Unfortunately, in Alabama the really cold stuff doesn't even get here till January.  Bite me, Jack Frost.

I love everything about this season.  I met the hubs in October of '95 which makes it sentimental.  I love college football, crunchy colorful leaves, and the cool crisp air.  Both the mastermind and the actress have birthdays in October and November.  We love Halloween and pumpkin patches!  I enjoy snuggling up with a Pumpkin Spice latte from Starbucks and watching orange throw up all over Pinterest.....and omigosh, the food!!  

So with all that going through my head I had to drag out my all time fave Fall recipe.  My Aunt Joyce's hamburger soup.  Mom got this recipe from her twenty plus years ago and we've been making it every year since.  I can't even tell you how much I love this stuff, but if I coulda put a ring on it I would have.

Fall Favorite Hamburger Soup

{hamburger too shy to be pictured or forgotten.  Whatever.}

My pepper looks like he's not feeling well, but he's fine.  He just knows what's about to go down.

(this is a double recipe!)

1 bell pepper

1 white onion

2 lbs lean hamburger

2 (15 oz) cans pork and beans

2 (8 oz) cans tomato sauce

2 (5.5 oz) tomato juice

1 can of Rotel

2 cans or (16 oz) water (more if you need to thin it up)

chili powder (to taste)

salt & pepper (to taste)

Tums

First, you need to dice your onion and pepper then saute' them in a little butter. (I never use quite a whole onion)

Brown and drain your hamburger meat.

Combine all the ingredients (except seasoning) in a large stock pot and add the onion/pepper mix and beef.  Stir well.  {if you need more water just add a little more in}

Now it's time for the salt, pepper, and chili powder.

Here's where it can get a little tricky.  Until this soup comes to a boil and simmers 30 minutes or so you aren't going to taste the full effect of the chili powder.  I like mine really spicy so I add a lot and I know when to stop.  You need to taste test every ten minutes or so.  Don't be afraid of it.  If you don't use enough it'll just taste like pork and beans and tomato juice.  Gag me.  If it needs more flavor add more spice, but until you figure out what's right for you go slow.  I may or may not have accidentally scarred the hubs esophageal lining the first time he tried it.  Baby.

Like I said, bring everything to a  boil then simmer for around thirty minutes.

While you're waiting, go wash that load of clothes you forgot to put in the dryer.  Again.  For the third time. 

 Now run get the kids from school before you forget.  Cause yeah, that's happened.  Just don't burn your house down cause, ya know, that would suck.

 We love our soup with crushed saltines on top!

FYI:  Hamburger soup is WAY better the next day after everything has blended together overnight!

Remember the Tums in the ingredient list?  Yeah.  You're gonna need that.

Finish the sentence with Jake and Holly

                                                              

I found this super fun link up over at Where We Can Live Like Jack and Sally.  I've never done a link up before, but after reading everyone's answers I knew I had to join in!

Finish the sentence......

My happy place... is in the mountains or right here at home with my sweet family. 

Whatever happened to... the hamster that escaped his cage back in '86? Mom??

So what if I.... theoretically forgot to pick up my kids from school because I was asleep distracted, and I totally made up for it with ice cream and money.  Ok, maybe it did happen, but it was a lot of money and it was requested that I "forget" them again.  Frequently.

E! needs a reality show about... a Duck Dynasty spin off.  In fact, let's just put Duck Dynasty on every channel in place of all the crap they put on TV.

My go-to fast food meal is....  Arby's but I never eat it because, uh, have you seen those prices?!  Like hello?? Did y'all miss the fast food price meeting?

You might not know that I... pee at least four times a night and I've almost always made it to the bathroom.  J/k.  Except that one time.......

The hottest quarterback in the NFL is... anyone who whips the daylights out of the Saints.

If I could... keep my kids little and with me forever I'd do it in a heartbeat.  

My personality is awesome because... I'm completely medicated.  True story and 100% recommended. 

Twerking is.... something that I will threaten to embarrass my kids with in public when I figure out what the hell it is.  Sounds promising though.

I think it's super gross when... someone wears shoes inside my house.  Yeah.  I'm that freak.

Someone needs to tell Miley Cyrus.... she should've gone country.

It's also Wednesday, shot day.  My baby girl started taking allergy shots back in June.  She is one tough little cookie.  Nothing bothers that girl.  I hope I grow up to be like her!